Cigarette A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool at the other Marriage It’s an agreement wherein a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master Lecture An art of transmitting information from the notes of a lecturer to the notes of students without passing through the minds of either Conference The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present Compromising The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece Tears The hydraulic force by which masculine will power is defeated by feminine water power Dictionary A place where Divorce comes before Marriage Conference Room A place where everybody talks nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on Ecstasy A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before Classic A book which people praise but never read Smile A curve that can set a lot of things straight Office A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life Yawn The only time when some married men get to open their mouth ETC A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do Committee Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide nothing can be done together Experience The name men give to their mistakes Atom Bomb An invention to bring an end to all inventions Philosopher A fool who torments himself during life to be spoken of when dead Opportunist A person who starts taking bath if he accidently falls into a river Optimist A person who falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway “SEE I AM NOT INJURED YET” Pessimist A person who says O is the last letter in ZERO, instead of the first letter of Opportunity Miser A person who lives poor so that he can die RICH! Father A banker provided by nature Criminal A guy no different from the other, unless he gets caught Boss Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early Politician One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence later Doctor A person who kills your ills by pills and kills you with his bills