Imagining India - where radiation fails!

Enough of doomsday scenarios have been forecast but I thought I’d take a lighter vein and imagine that any damage in India may actually be less than one would anticipate.

March 21, 2011 8:38 IST | India Infoline News Service

The tragic events in Japan have shook the world. The earthquake and tsunami in Japan has in fact shifted the earth’s axis and moved Japan even closer to the United States. The visuals seen on television and the internet makes are giving nightmares even to those not even remotely connected with Japan or its people in any way. We’ve really not seen tragedy followed by tragedy as in the case of Japan. I am not indicating the tragedies of the past including the earthquakes and nuclear attacks. This time it was first the most powerful earthquake, followed by a devastating tsunami, then nuclear reactor problems and as if all these were not enough even the weather in Japan is playing truant. Power outages added to the darkness in their lives. 

Japan is a well organized society and so would have managed to minimize the damage that nature inflicted. When tsunami struck the Indian coast some years ago, as a nation we were not in a position to handle a disaster. At least disaster management seems to be well ingrained in Japan and people are conscious that they live in a disaster prone zone. 

God forbid if something similar were to happen in India, the damage would have been humongous. The Nuclear Plant at Jaitapur which is in the eye o f a storm is reportedly designed to withstand a 6.5 magnitude earthquake. The earthquake in Japan shows that earthquakes can get much higher on the Richter scale. Following the tsunami in South India in December 2004, India did  put in place an effective system to issue Tsunami alerts. But I was shocked (or should I really be shocked) to read in the newspapers that the tsunami alert systems put out at sea were vandalized by fishermen who happily sold away the metal parts. 

Enough of doomsday scenarios that have been forecast but I thought I’d take a lighter vein and imagine that any damage in India may actually be less than one would anticipate.  

So here is ‘The Imaginary Times of India’

Some of the Headlines on  December 26, 2012 are as follows: 

“Tsunami strikes the coast of Tamil Nadu”. 

“Earthquake in Western India”, 

“Tsunami strikes western coast of India”

“Prime Minister assures that all the nuclear installations are safe.”

“Smoke coming out of Kalpakkam reactors”

Eye witnesses say smoke is rising from a building housing a damaged nuclear reactor at Kalpakkam’s power plant crippled by today’s tsunami. However, the team of nuclear scientists, who have air-dashed to the site have clarified that there is no reason to worry. 

Minutes later the Prime Minister informs  the nation in a televised address also broadcast by all cellular companies on handsets that the extent of damage was well within control.  There is no threat of radiation, except those from mobiles, assured the  Prime Minister. 

Life slowly gets back to normal. No, the world did not end in 2012. 

The New York Times, January 27, 2013 

President Obama has set up a high level committee to understand how India managed the nuclear disaster very well. In the high level committee meeting he questioned his security advisors, CIA, FBI et al whether India has any advanced technology for managing and controlling nuclear radiation.  Have they developed a secret code or built a nuclear shield which would prevent any nuclear attack in India? Everyone is confused as explosions are happening but even satellites could not pick up any signs of radiation and collateral damage. 

Undisclosed sources say that the President has sanctioned a special budget. In 1998, India had successfully evaded spy satellites while conducting the nuclear tests. As someone put it CIA’s intelligence was good but India’s deception was better. 

Wikileaks, December 2013 

The secret is finally out  on how the explosion in Kalppakam was easily controlled. The scientists really have nothing to do with this. The credit goes to the politicians and a closed group who made some nuclear scientists mysteriously disappear and managed nuclear material pilferage to Europe.  Whatever power came from the plant was coal-fired which only generated some heat but no radiation. 

The US president then decided to relieve his stress by watching Rajnikant’s Robot III which shows the legendary Indian actor swallowing tsunamis and repairing damaged nuclear plants and giving all the Terminator series a complex. Last heard Arnold Schwarzenegger was giving some explanations. 

The BJP has gone back to its favourite past time asking for the PM’s resignation ahead

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