You may some of the solutions to your problems all the time and all the solutions some of the time. But you can't have all the solutions all the time. Interestingly, there are people who claim to have all the solutions all the time.
I am not referring to the sleek management consultants who can give you a perspective and solutions for problems which you may not even have. What I would like to share is about an SMS I received and I am sure most of you would have received similar ones too. Apparently even the telecom minister is not spared from such messages.
Apne business love life carrier merried life ya kisi bhi samasya ka Vedic jyotisheo dwara gauranted saral samadhan jaaniye free call kare - I have taken the liberty to reproduce the SMS as it is. The least the sender could have done was to ensure that there are no spelling errors.
This Hinglish SMS offers a range of solutions to all sorts of problems including love life to career to married life. I guess his goal would be to ensure that you subscribe to his service or take his counselling and you would have ‘a happy love life, a good career and if you have these then no doubt you will have a happy married life too.’
The words career and carrier also have some interesting connotations. In most careers you may be a carrier of someone else’s job files. Maybe the word career evolved from carrier because in olden days bureaucracy was the biggest job generator. Here, one grew up the ladder by carrying files. The higher you go, the lesser number of files you need to carry.
I was quite amused by the ‘merried’ word too. I do not know whether he meant married people wanted to have merried life so that they got married. Whatever the idea behind that SMS, I did not have the guts to call up that number but I wonder how many actually call back and what kind of solutions such persons or group of persons offer.
Once I started writing the blog – I got another email from a Doctor claiming to have solutions for everyone including Family Person, Business Person, Student, Personal, Corporate, Employment and Business Projects.
Earlier, when I used to travel in local trains, there used to be posters of oneBaba Bengali who used to stay in Kalyan (I am not really sure but some distant suburb). He also had solutions to all problems from piles, arthritis, career, marriage etc. I used to wonder what kind of baba he is who can offer solutions to everything. May be he had a magic pill you could pop in; and that throw out your worries. The poster was in Hindi and for sake of decorum I am not able to translate all that he could do.
Why not a Madrasi baba or a Maharashtrian baba; why only a Bengali baba? Is it because the eastern part of the world is always spiritual? Perhaps, that is why for material pleasures people move from East to West and for spiritual pleasures people move from West to East. Even in my travel in parts of Bihar and Bengal, I have never come across posters of Marathi baba or Madrasi baba. Madrasis are most linked to nadi and that is now actually catching on all over India. For those who haven’t heard of Nadi Astrology, it is a form of Hindu astrology practiced mostly in Tamil Nadu. Here the belief is that your past, present and the future lives were foreseen by Hindu sages and documented. Could the sages predict the population explosion or there are repetitive patterns?
In my pursuit to find answer to life’s secrets, I have done nadi. In most classified columns of newspapers you will come across nadi astrologers. They speak Tamil and you need to go with a Tamil translator. You need someone to translate as the Nadi astrologer speaks in poetic Tamil, which is difficult to comprehend. Strangely, like in most astrological cases, the past was amazingly accurate. But whatever was told or foretold about the future – the less said the better.
There must have been a database of sorts and repetitive patterns – that’s the only logic I could think of. Who knows, with Aadhar, may be two centuries from now, Indians will be talking about a Nilekanni rishi from Bangalore who had predicted the past, present and future of all Indians.